The Existential Dialogue With Myself That Ignited My Creative Path
A Journey Beyond the Conventional to Uncover Authenticity and Purpose*
“What happens if you quit your job, tear everything down, and find yourself clueless about what comes next?” This question haunted me as I stared into the mirror, meeting the gaze of a stranger with weary eyes, deep lines of worry, and a look that seemed lost.
To this stranger, I posed a question: “What do you desire? What are you in pursuit of?”
Reflecting on my childhood dreams, I remembered yearning to be significant and effect change in the world. Despite achieving my goals, a profound sense of emptiness pervaded me. “I’m not sure what I want anymore,” my True Self confessed, a hint of melancholy in its tone. My ambition to change the world felt futile, drained by my current state of disillusionment.
“Where has all your striving led you?” I continued to probe. Despite being on the path to what many would consider success, I felt sad, unmotivated, and alienated from myself. It became clear: the suit and tie, the adherence to societal expectations and career ladder climbing, were obscuring my true identity rather than revealing it.
“It’s just not worth it,” I told my reflection. “Not worth your precious time on this Earth.”
“How do you feel? Have you done justice to your time here? Have you dedicated yourself to making meaningful change, exploring your creativity joyfully during your brief stint on this spinning blue dot? Have you truly valued your time?” I doubted it. This wasn’t about guilt (well, maybe a little).
“Do you owe anything to others? No — not to your boss, your parents, or anyone else. Actually, that’s not entirely true. You owe it to them, but more importantly, to yourself, to realize your true potential and introduce your authentic self to the world.”
That’s when my True Self began to stir. “Lately, I’ve felt as though I’m losing parts of myself, and I hardly recognize who I am anymore. My vibrancy, my essence, it’s fading. Why am I relinquishing my identity for ‘achievement’ and ‘success’ as dictated by societal norms? Why accept the hand dealt to me instead of charting my own course?”
For too long, I played a role, forgetting it was all a game. Now, torn apart, I realized I had lost sight of myself in pursuit of achievement. But to what end? “Yes, I suppose I have,” my awakening True Self acknowledged.
What’s the next step? Completely dismantling everything seems rash, yet the uncertainty of what follows terrifies me. How will I sustain myself? The fear of disappointment, anxiety, and reverting to old patterns looms large, as self-expression and exploration seem daunting in a world obsessed with ego.
“I fear breaking this cycle,” I admitted. My True Self sighed, acknowledging past attempts to change direction, only to end up back where I started.
The stranger in the mirror countered, “It won’t be easy. It might be the hardest challenge you’ll face. But if not now, when? If you continue on this path, you’ll miss out on being truly present, forming meaningful connections, and discovering the essence of a fulfilling future that aligns with your genuine self.”
“I know. But isn’t it better to stick with the devil you know?” My True Self hesitated.
“Absolutely not. Life is about embracing the unknown,” the stranger declared. “When you’re in harmony with yourself, doubt has no place. Trust in your faith, your intuition, and your innate abilities. By embracing your true identity and allowing yourself to share it with the world, you’ll escape the mental prison you’ve constructed. Make a bold declaration to yourself and to others:
‘I trust in myself.’”
With that, my True Self exited the room, ready to embark on a journey to unlock his creative potential. Suddenly, he viewed the world through new eyes — an empty canvas awaiting the vibrant strokes of his truest self.
*This is the prologue of my upcoming book, The Time is Now: A Guide To Honor Your Time on Earth
